HONEY, DID I GET THE BACK OF MY LEGS?

One of our friends wrote a very cute post – “What I never thought I’d have to say to my child”.  This certainly got us thinking about all the things we never thought we’d have to say or we’ve added, that we never thought we’d have to hear in our life with a triathlete.

However, being married to triathletes, having many friends who are triathletes, and after attending multiple triathlons, we do all too often.  So, we thought we’d share a few gems that we’ve been privy to over the years, along with some you were happy to share…

WHAT WE NEVER THOUGHT WE’D HAVE TO SAY OR HEAR…

• Honey, did I get the back of my legs?
• Can you carry my compression tights in your purse?
• I hate shaving his back.
• Do you really have to wear that to ride a bike?  You look like a leprechaun.  Can’t you just ride inside?  At least you have a balaclava on so no one knows who you are.
  
  
  

  Functional, but not always the most attractive look…

• Are those swim trunks supposed to be see through?
• DON’T TOUCH THE BIKE!!!  Sorry, I peed on it. (Heard after a race).
• Geez dad.  Are you sure you shaved your legs today? They’re awfully prickly.
• What do you mean we’re not giving these swim trunks to Goodwill?  They’re just a little worn. (Had a whole conversation about what’s appropriate to donate and what’s not).
• My body’s smoother than yours.
• Honey, can you zip me up?
  

  Just a day in the life of a triwife…

• You need me to get you what?  Are you kidding me?  Butt Butter cream?  Now, I know you’re joking.  You’re not?  Seriously? What the f#%^ is that?
• And – Do you have the small tubes of Butt Butter? (Overheard at the bike shop)
• At dinner tonight, can you please not talk about how your stomach gave you problems at the last race?  Not all of our guests will appreciate the conversation.
• And the flip side – Okay, you can talk GI issues at the dinner table.  You’re all triathletes tonight. (Don’t know why I’d ever give permission for this topic – big mistake!)
• I have blood on my shirt.  My nipple was bleeding.
• Does this kit make me look fat?
  

  I’m imagining that’s what they’re thinking as they strike this pose…

• You could easily be in a Depends commercial or in the SNL skit “Oops, I crapped my pants!”
• Does your laundry room always smell like that? (Not something you want to hear your guest ask).
• If he calls me into the bathroom one more time to see the designs he is making in his stomach with the razor, I am going to scream!
• I woke up at 3am this morning and did what anybody would do: I took my heart rate.
• And the one we triwives have all heard.  Can you buy me shaving cream?  It can be cheap.  It’s just for my legs…

 – THE TRIWIVESCLUB

WHAT DID YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D HEAR OR SAY?

Sherry Wernicke

Sherry is one of the TriWivesClub and LifeDoneWell co-founders and contributes to multiple blogs. She is a former co-owner of the California Apparel News and had a career in the healthcare industry. Her passions include traveling, real food, the environment, and animal rescue/welfare. She lives a healthy lifestyle and has been a vegetarian since 1987. She and her husband are parents to two rescue pups and reside in Connecticut.