kaylaPicMonkey Collage

The many faces of Kayla…

Yesterday morning all was well in my world.  I had just taken my husband’s bike to a local store to be picked up by Tribike Transport for Ironman 70.3 Oceanside.  I was so looking forward to the trip to California.  Many of our friends are doing the race and we were going to see family, including my husband’s 98 year old aunt.  Plus, I was going to promote the TriWivesClub, of course.  After I dropped off the bike, I did some volunteer work at our local animal shelter and was feeling good about life.  Then, I got home and in an instant, my whole world changed.

I was sitting in the kitchen and looked up.  I saw one of my dogs, a true love of my life, start teetering.  She could barely hold herself up and had a glazed over look.  In short order, it was over, but I knew something was dreadfully wrong.  I got her to the vets and they examined her and did blood work, scheduling an abdominal ultrasound for the next morning.  We took her in after having a good night with no further symptoms.  The call came about 2 hours later.  “There are a few issues we have to talk about,” she said.  Never good.

Long story short – she has a focal tumor in the small intestine and density changes in her liver.  I literally could not breathe when I heard the news and have been sick to my stomach all day.  Thank God my husband was able to come home from work and be with both of us for support.  We took her to an internist who did an aspiration of the areas and said he felt we are dealing with cancer, but wouldn’t have a definitive diagnosis until Monday or Tuesday.  Never having to face a waiting period like this before, it will be an excruciatingly long weekend.  I will be watching her constantly for more symptoms.  I am so sorry for all the people who have to endure this agony for themselves or loved ones.

For people who don’t have pets, it may be hard to understand how painful this is.  I don’t have children and she truly means the absolute world to me.  She is almost 13, but acts like she’s 2.  I work from home, so she is with me everyday.  It’s at times like this that I always say I won’t get another dog, because I can’t stand the pain of the loss, but of course I always do.  A pet makes a house a home and truly gives it a soul.  They were amazed at the vet’s today how muscular and alert she is for her age.  My husband always says it’s the homemade food I give her and all the love…..We have had her since she was 6 months, having lost another dog to a splenic tumor.  I can say without a biased bone in my body that she is one of the most intelligent, sweetest dogs I have ever met.  She actually tries to communicate with me, but I’m the idiot who doesn’t understand.  She truly just loves life, every single minute of it, and everything it offers her.

I’m writing this as it is a bit cathartic for me.  Maybe if I put it down on paper, it will be more of a story as opposed to real life.  I saw an article the other day about a bucket list for your dog.  I didn’t read it, literally thinking I didn’t need it, and now have to go try and find it.  The vet did give us some hope that it may not be a death sentence and treatment might be possible. I’m trying to hang onto that for dear life, but it is hard, REALLY hard and all I can think right now is LIFE JUST SUCKS!!!!  Please keep her in your thoughts and send good vibes our way……