how to be the parents you want to be



how to be good parents

PLEASE…Stop looking over that fence for greener grass.  Parenting is tough and you may or may not be doing the right thing with your kids, but I am here to tell you that looking over the fence is the wrong thing to do.  Truth is, everyone has their issues.  You just don’t usually know what they are, because they are hidden behind that fence and although the grass may look very green and cheery, it just may be fake; you know artificial turf.

How does me telling you this pertain to parenting and what it can teach us?  Simple.  Make your own green grass and stop worrying so much about the color of everyone else’s grass.  Worrying is not only a waste of time, but if you waste all your energy looking over the fence, you will not, as a parent, have the time necessary to nurture your kids.  

how to be a better parent

We learn as parents that time is key and I am not talking about finding time to do more, but finding time to nurture and enhance our lives, thus enhancing our childrens’ lives.  Create your own green grass.  Time is precious, so make sure you spend it doing things that are valuable.  

If you spend all your time looking over the fence and trying to figure out how they make their grass so green, you will not have time to take a good look at your grass.  You will waste time looking for something that may not be there, instead of finding ways to make yours greener.  And, remember, everyone’s shade of green is different.  Listening or looking over the fence may not tell the whole story.

Here’s a  little story to help…

One day in my backyard, I heard our neighbor and his kids talking.  He was a boisterous dad who everyone would always say, “Oh you know the Smith’s.  They do it all.  They are unbelievable”.  People always asked how he did it all?  He was a coach, sat on every committee, hosted awesome parties, and still had time to play ball in his backyard with the kids.  People were so impressed.

BUT, truth is, these parents knew when to be in the backyard and what the people didn’t hear is what we heard regularly.  “Dad, 5 minutes doesn’t count.  Stay and play with us”.  There was always an excuse that followed, until one day while out back with my dogs I heard, “Don’t even try to play with us dad.  You just get in the way when you leave”.  Another one said, “Dad, why do you tell people you play with us all afternoon?  You don’t.  You only play when our friends are here for a little bit.”  It was one of the saddest conversations I have ever heard.

The truth was that keeping up the image was becoming harder and harder and more and more frustrating as the children got older.  Some people can do it all, but when you can’t, its okay.  Just pick what is most important, not what you want others to see like these parents.  It was fake.  You be real!

how to be the parents you want to be

Stop wasting time looking at other people and assuming their grass is green; everyone has their issues. But, if it really is that green, ask them questions, learn from them; just don’t imitate them.  Create your own green grass.  Spend time if you are struggling finding ways to get a better grounding.  Talk to friends and family.  Seek professional help if need be.  Spend time with your family and play with your kids.  Dig deep to determine the real reason you are feeling this way.  

No matter what the color of your grass, it is yours; own it and water it so that it grows.  Maybe your grass is not green and that is perfectly okay, too.  Sometimes worrying about what color other people are seeing does not allow you and your family to be unique and show your own colors. So, here’s my hope for you and your family…

Stop wasting time looking over the fence and color your own world with goodness.