Mom Fail: The Downside of Raising Strong, Successful, Independent Children

If we are asked how we raised our kids, we simply answer, “we have no clue”.  But, the choices we made we feel shaped who they are today.

Some say it is luck.  My husband taught me long ago there is no such thing as luck.  He has always said you have to work hard to create your own luck.  So, we worked hard, made some good decisions, some bad decisions, and a whole lots of decisions we just made hoping they were right… But they turned out pretty awesome and although they are easy, the struggle now comes with this success.

My emotions are running high.  I’m so happy they are doing well and are strong, successful, and independent, but also sad they are so successful, strong, and independent.

Here is a prime example of my struggle.  The holidays are here and while most kids their age will be heading home from college for a few weeks to over a month, mine are finding it hard to make it home for even a few days.

Sam

Sam’s finals end December 16th, but he has been invited to a second interview for a company in Boston in their offices on the 18th.  He has not been able to make the other times due to classes and being in the middle of his diving season, so he feels obligated to go now.  The company is so wonderful and have worked with him to get a date that works for him.  So, I loose two days there.

Sam also has to leave the 26 th to get back to school for training and their annual training camp to Puerto Rico.  Then, to add salt to this mother’s open wound, we gave him the gift of an out and back overnight ticket to Houston to present a regional award named in his honor from his hard work in his youth group in high school.  So, his month long time at home is a whopping 6, yes I said 6 days.  While I am SO proud, my heart aches.

Sydney

If you have been following, you know my sweet Sydney had a dream and unlike so many of us, she was brave, told us her change in plans, and went for it.  And you know what?  SHE DID IT!  Our professional dancer was signed to an amazing agency and is auditioning and working in New York City in the dance world.  In fact, as I write this, she is at an audition. So proud…

So, in this world, your agent calls, sends a text or an email, and you go to a job or to audition.  As a new dancer, she can not be away for long, so we are crossing our fingers we get her for just a few days.  Again, here we sit; so happy for her success, but a heavy heart.

So, what are we doing?  Well, we are working ourselves into their lives.  So, when he heads off to training camp, we will go to be around and available to hang out with Sydney.  Sam also will not get a February break due to his UAA diving meet.  So, we will head to Boston and be around the week before, so we can hang out with him between practices and then head up to watch him at UAAs.

I know I have absolutely no reason to complain or be sad.  I should enjoy their success. But, sometimes I just wish they were sitting there on the couch staring at the TV.  In reality, they were never those kids. When they are home, they know it is all about me!  It is all about mom’s need for them to just hang out and in truth they need that downtime, too.

So, I raise a glass to my strong, successful, and independent children or shall I say young adults.  I toast them, fill my glass again, drink my missing them away, and try not to let too many tears roll down my face.

Dana Zucker

I am a home cook that does things my way. In my kitchen, I make breakfast, pack lunches, prepare snacks, and cook dinner. During the week, we eat real food that is homemade, organic, and local. On the weekends we do explore more of our local restaurants. I bake my own bread, juice fresh oranges every other day, and make my own kombucha and other weekly favorites.