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Triwife and trihubby on race day…

As most of you know, being a triwife or tripartner is not always an easy job.  It has it’s moments of pure joy, like when they cross the Kona finish line with a huge smile on their face, but it also has it’s moments of pure agony, like when they are hit by a car riding their bike – we’ve lived through both. Then, there’s the in-betweens…

After doing this for many years, we realized we have actually gotten a lot out of this role and learned a few lessons in the process, both positive and negative and some just purely from our sense of humor.  In case you have forgotten, never realized, or are just learning, we thought we’d list what lessons we’ve learned from being a triwife and we hope you share yours…

  1. How to make a to-do list while listening to a post-race report.
  2. That we need to set up some rules in the household to keep everyone in the family engaged, such as trifree talk days (ok, maybe half days to start), off-limit topics of conversation at dinner tables, expectations of the triathlete when not in heavy training for a race, etc.
  3. That it is often “all about them” and we have to communicate when we want it to be “all about me or us”.
  4. A whole new vocabulary, including fartlek, negative splits, and power intervals that we’ll NEVER use in a sentence.
  5. That triwives/partners are REALLY a special group of people who continue to amaze us with their perseverance, agility, patience, stamina, ability to put their ego aside, generosity…

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    Still cheering & happy to see you after a long day on the course…Photo credit Mark Fellman.

  6. That we can be as sweaty and gross after a race as our trihubby from running around to find the best viewing spots, standing in the hot sun much of the day, and taking care of the kids AND best of all, no one will notice or care.  Oh, and just to show our solidarity – cow bell raised high!
  7. How to get ungodly smells and stains out of laundry while holding our breath.
  8. That it’s OKAY we’re not triathletes, too.  One is enough in our house.  But, if one of our children should decide to follow in their bike shoes, our triathletes will be full of pride and support, sprinkled with just a wee bit of competition…
  9. That as the kids get older, their interest in daddy’s “hobby” starts to wane, especially for local races.  Picks up a bit when the venue has a beach attached, but regardless, we have to accept they have their own lives and we’re on our own.
  10. To ALWAYS, and we stress ALWAYS, have another triwife as a BFF and on speed dial.  We have to be there for each other.  Solidarity again…

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    A BFF at the ready…

  11. That sometimes you actually do have to be a sherpa and take that bike to the shop for Tribike Transport pick-up, help carry transition bags and bike pumps to race check-in, and help get your triathlete back to the car/hotel after a brutal race.  But, NEVER call yourself a tri widow, it makes you sound like a victim, which we are not…
  12. That we really don’t need to be active participants in many tri-related conversations.  All we have to do is nod our head, look them in the eye occasionally, and let them talk it out and they’ll have an “aha” moment all on their own.  To boot, they actually don’t seem to mind or know that we’re really not listening.  That’s not what it’s about.  It’s just being there to let them talk it out…
  13. That while we don’t always love this lifestyle, we do still love our triathletes and so that makes any issues that arise worth working through.  There will come the day when this will all end, so seriously, make the best of it while you have it and enjoy.  Chances are you will miss it when it’s gone…
  14. To always have plenty of wine stocked in the refrigerator …
  15. To know how to occupy ourselves when they are training and to accept that it’s okay, heck it’s more than okay, to do things by ourselves or with our friends…

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    Shopping and wine…a dangerous combination…

  16. To not take emotional outbursts personally, as they’re rarely directed at us.  In these cases, the best course of action is to take a step back and not react. (Lesson recently learned from coach Matt Dixon).
  17. Spontaneity is pretty much a four letter word in training season and it’s all about planning ahead.
  18. That it’s better to be part of the process and have our say, rather than feeling resentment after schedules are made.
  19. How to negotiate anything we want when they rationalize buying a new “toy”.
  20. And finally, to ALWAYS remember at the end of the day, THEY DO NOT GET PAID for this.  It is a hobby and has a place in life and can’t always be taken with the seriousness some people might like it to….

 – THE TRIWIVESCLUB

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM BEING A TRIWIFE/PARTNER?