As a triwife, I’ve lived a dream existence for the past year and a half. I’ve been on actual vacations where the word triathlon never came up in conversation. I’ve gotten to sleep in until 7am and had many nights of dinners and movies with my husband.
I’ve gained hours of free time not doing loads of stinky laundry. We’ve spent money on fun things and not triathlon gear. I could go on.
But, alas, I just woke up…
My husband was out of the triathlon world since March 2015, which kind of means so was this triwife. Two major injuries kept him sidelined and for awhile, not even able to work out. But, time, patience and physical therapy, brought him back to feeling well enough to start training. And, with the training came his first Olympic distance triathlon a few weeks ago.
I now think back on all the times I complained about this lifestyle and how it adversely affected our family life. I’ve even secretly rued the day he found this damn sport to begin with and made me a triwife. To list a few of the downsides… It’s cost us a lot of money, left me with missed vacations that I wanted to take, made me spend way too much time alone, and caused us to miss or cut short a lot of social engagements.
So, why, when I had multiple opportunities to nudge him in the direction of no more triathlons didn’t I do it?
To be honest, taking that initiative never really crossed my mind while the break was happening. I did think maybe he wouldn’t heal enough to ever get back or might even get discouraged himself and say that’s it. But, it wasn’t until he was at his first triathlon and I once again had to get up before dawn to go cheer him on that this missed opportunity hit me.
I truly had a year and a half to change our history and failed to take advantage. And, now it’s too late for this triwife…
When I saw the smile on his face when he was down in the sand in his wetsuit waiting for the swim to start, I knew he felt back home and was so happy.
When he said he wasn’t doing the race to compete, but for fun, then fixated a bit on his time, I knew he was back in. When our dinner conversation once again centered around bike rides, his trainer, and weight loss, I knew he was planning next year’s schedule in his head. Then, no doubt was left when the Ironman World Championships were on and he started following the race online and went, “I’m itching to get back to Kona. I gotta get back.”
Why did I blow it? That’s what’s crossing my mind this morning.
Maybe I knew in my heart just how important triathlons are in his life. Maybe I knew he was going to do what he was going to do anyway. Or maybe I was remembering all the good memories. Yes, there have been quite a few.
Like when he crossed the finish line for his first Ironman; when he won a spot to Kona and then crossed that finish line; when I kept making new friends at each race; when I got to go to Kona 3 times, Klagenfurt Austria, Mont Tremblant…you get the picture.
Now, he’s back training in earnest and barring any further complications, next year, my vacations will again be based around his triathlon schedule. Lake Placid anyone? I will be alone much of the time on weekends, I will be woken up at 4:30 am, and left sitting on the couch by myself at 9 pm.
But, I can honestly say that I’m okay with all of this. I now realize that the triathlon lifestyle can end at anytime and so, even though I will undoubtedly still complain a lot, I’m going to enjoy it while I can…
If you had a chance to escape the world of triathlons would you take it?
Post note: I better be okay with this. See what I found by my computer this morning…
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Sherry is one of the TriWivesClub and LifeDoneWell co-founders and contributes to multiple blogs. She is a former co-owner of the California Apparel News and had a career in the healthcare industry. Her passions include traveling, real food, the environment, and animal rescue/welfare. She lives a healthy lifestyle and has been a vegetarian since 1987. She and her husband are parents to two rescue pups and reside in Connecticut.
This is interesting and very much how I feel. My husband is retired, but it still rules our lives more than I would like and more than he will admit. I love that he has something he enjoys so much, but the obsessive workouts, obsessive eating regiment (won’t eat ANYTHING outside of his special diet and even weighs his food) and the fact that he can’t do anything outside of this because he’s too spent is really taking it’s toll. I wish there could be balance. Do Tri’s ever find balance? I’m feeling pretty down about all of this and certainly don’t feel like we are a team. Any insights appreciated!
Hi Valerie. We have struggled with this for a long time. How long has your husband been doing triathlons? Why I ask is because they all seem totally gung ho in the beginning and ease up a bit as the years go by. My husband started weighing food, but that lasted maybe a week, before he got tired of it. Seriously, the best thing that has worked for us is communication and not to let bad feelings fester. Some things you have to accept like routines around races, but it truly can’t be all about them. We talk about training and race schedules so I know what outside activities I can schedule that won’t interfere with his training. I also find things to do to occupy my time while he’s on 5 hour bike rides on the weekends! I will also say his coach has helped tremendously as he is an advocate for balance and family life, but a lot of people don’t have that. We’re happy to help in any way we can.
Plain and simple it’s because you love your person, and therefore want to support their passions and what makes them happy 🙂 that’s how it should be!
That’s VERY true, but it does get wearing after all these years!! Ask your mother. But that is why when I saw the smile on his face, we were BOTH back in…
Yep. It is hard sometimes… but then I go to a race and I realize I get as much joy from the day as my hubby and daughter do. I love it. Spectating and supporting is MY gig! Especially the travel to great places with like minded folks…our Tri-family!
That’s what happened at his first race. He was just so darned happy to be in that wetsuit, I knew I’d have to suck it all up!
Ps. Don’t let him make the race schedule without us doing some together!!!!
I think he’s just going to do halfs next year to ease himself back in. LP for sure in Sept. Otherwise, still trying to decide and of course, may do a full. Do you guys have anything scheduled?