We received this email from a reader and felt that since this is a site where we want to encourage an open, honest dialogue between all of us, we would share it with everyone.  If you have had a similar situation with opposite sex training partners and can offer some words of wisdom, it would be greatly appreciated by our reader.  Please comment below.  We also did a post a long time ago on this subject, Creative Solutions When Your Triathlete Has You Seeing Green that might offer some clarity.  Thanks so much….


I really enjoy reading your blog! It’s been very helpful as a GF to a triathlete. I’m a long distance runner, but have learned a lot about what makes this sport different.

So, I hope you can help… And post my question anonymously. I’d like very much to have the input of the community.

I had on Sunday something happen that was quite upsetting to me and I don’t know how to handle it or if it’s really a problem.

My BF (we live together) said he was going out solo on a long ride from our house and in actuality met up with a gal and her friends to ride in a completely different part of the city. AND his “I”ll be back in 2 1/2 hrs” turned into 5 hours and I was worried sick as to where he was. He had his phone, but chose not to contact me. He literally rolled up in her car with another guy (that was her BF) and they dropped him back off at home. I was sitting on the porch and SHOCKED when they rolled up!

So here’s the deal and my question beyond my rage of disrespecting my time spent waiting and worrying for him. The gal he made plans with is very attractive. He friended her on FB a couple months ago I believe because of her swimsuit profile pic. I discovered before this that he was making ride dates behind my back and they meet up at the pool. I’ve since friended her and she knows I exist and says they are just friends. But am I crazy feeling uncomfortable with his new training partner that he NEVER mentions? I don’t feel they should train together – especially because he isn’t open about it. I’ve shared with her how I feel and now I wonder if I should put my foot down. It’s not as if they don’t have other same-gender partners to train with. Should I ask them to stop? They aren’t even the same speed riding. Or should I just drop it? I’m not sure if opposite sex training partners is a common issue, but I am at a loss as to what to say or what to do… :-/